RICHMOND, VA
26 June 2012
At a press conference earlier today, Dominion unveiled new plans for how the controversial firm may move forward into a cleaner energy future for the planet: harvesting power from the moon. The plan, entitled “Total Dominion,” hopes to revolutionize how Virginians, and the world, will receive energy for years to come.
Dominion hopes to procure federal funding by early next week to begin construction of its very own permanent lunar processing facility for the production and transport of Helium 3, abundant on the moon as a result of the sun’s solar wind, to be used in nuclear fusion reactors back here on earth.
“Just like clean coal,” says CEO Tom Farrell, “helium 3 technology will allow us to move forward into the 21st century without a massive hit to the economy.” Although options such as wind, solar, and geothermal have stayed on the table, they remain unpopular inside Dominion’s corporate culture. “I have a great waterfront property in Virginia Beach,” says Farrell, “and I’ll be damned if some crop of huge windmills is going to ruin my view.”
Governor Deeds McDonnell endorsed the project, calling it “a massive leap forward in Virginia’s energy portfolio,” and the “next step in making the Commonwealth a leader in green technology.”
Although science has yet to find a viable method for large-scale fusion, Dominion isn’t worried. “The technology just isn’t ready yet, but we cannot wait around for it to become commercially viable.” When that technology is expected to go online, nobody knows.
“With the massive failure of the whole
